So, many times when we hear lessons or even when people talk about what the Bible says about marriage Ephesians 5 becomes one of the focal points.
We often get too narrow focused on verse 22 “wives submit to your husbands.” We spend so much time defining and discussing it and by the time we move to verse 25 and beyond husbands responsibility to love their wives takes gets put on the back burner.
But that’s not how Paul treats to two here. The majority of the section in Ephesians 5 isn’t directly toward women – it’s directed to men. He discusses husbands and what it means to truly love their wives much longer than He spends explaining how wives should submit to their husbands. Why is that? I’d like to posit a couple of reasons.
❤️Husbands are the leaders of families thus their responsibilities need to be clearly understood and emphasized. Husbands are told their leadership in the family needs to mirror Christ’s leadership over the church so He needs to take His job seriously and understand the true meaning of leadership.
❤️ The kind of love Paul is describing here isn’t a romantic love or an emotional love – it is a service and sacrificial love. It is the hardest of all the loves to love your wife as Christ loved the church. Christ gave up Heaven. He humbled Himself. He served. He died for it. To love like that is a tall task indeed.
❤️ If husbands love their wives the way they are instructed – the way Christ love the church – wives submitting to their husbands leadership isn’t a problem because her husband isn’t a dictator or selfish leader but instead a sacrificial and service leader who always seeks to do what’s best for her.
This type of love isn’t singular to husbands. Paul later instructs wives to love their husbands in Titus 2. But the weight of that love leadership falls on the husband.
Why is this kind of love so important in marriages? Because marriage can be hard. You have committed yourself to someone else and joined your life path to their’s. Your life is no longer just about you. The only way marriage will work has God intended is if each person – husband and wife – love each other with a deep service minded and sacrificial love. They put each other first. They look out for what’s best for the other. They are aware of what the other needs. They anchor their love for each other to Christ.
Marriage is hard but it can also be amazing. So when we do find the person we want to build our life with, our love for them must be more than superficial or romantic otherwise the marriage will struggle and possibly even fail. Marriages that love the way God loves are rooted in a service and sacrifice.
So, who does godly love love? Its spouses. How does godly love act in marriage? Sacrificially. #LoveActs
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